New Parents: 7 Common Mistakes When Your First Child Is Born
Parenting is one of the most rewarding adventures, but also one of the most challenging a human being can undertake. Being in charge of another life can be overwhelming and the path is often fraught with doubts. This feeling is always present, but it is the new parents who are particularly fearful.
It must be understood that making mistakes is inevitable. No one is perfect and on this journey you will fail several times. There are, however, issues on which most parents frequently find doubts and difficulties.
However, knowing this first can help you get around the typical rocks and make the most of the first few years of life with your child.
Are you ready to discover some of the most common mistakes?
1. Stiffness: a common feature of new parents
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| One of the most common mistakes made by new parents is stiffness. |
When in doubt, it is normal for the tendency to want to control everything to avoid problems. For this reason, new parents often make the mistake of being rigid.
Before the baby arrives, goals and objectives are usually set, such as exclusively breastfeeding, co-sleeping , maintaining stable routines and schedules, or not taking the baby to kindergarten until he is three years old.
These goals, set with the best of intentions, cannot always be achieved or it turns out that they are not the most suitable option for the family.
It is important to be flexible and open to change; that is, knowing how to change the course without feeling guilt or failure. From theory to practice, the sea is involved ; therefore, don't be afraid of not being able to meet your initial expectations.
2. Do not set an interference limit
It is common for first-time parents to get advice from everyone on how they should raise their child. This is why it is essential to set limits. It serves to prevent relatives and friends from interfering in parenting decisions. It is your child and you choose how to educate him; clarifying this premise from the beginning will avoid problems and conflicts in the couple.
3. Do not rely on a professional figure
Raising a child requires help, support and guidance, and it is essential to have trusted professionals to turn to. Make sure your pediatrician shares the same parenting line as you and is available to answer questions without generating feelings of guilt or discomfort.
Other figures who can accompany you in this process are midwives, perinatal psychologists or breastfeeding consultants . They are figures trained to help in the stage of life you are going through. Professional advice can dramatically and positively change the course of your m / paternity.
4. Forget that the couple is a team
It is common that after the arrival of a child, life as a couple suffers. The child requires attention, time and care, and moments of intimacy can be increasingly scarce . However, it's important to continue to cultivate love, foster communication, and remember that bonding with your partner is also a priority.
Likewise, it is common for the distribution of tasks and roles to generate problems and conflicts. In some families, mothers dedicate themselves completely to the child and take care of all the care, relegating the father to a secondary position. However, the father must also be involved in parenting from the beginning and the couple must always work as a team.
5. Leave everything to improvisation
It is true that instinct is a good guide in many moments of parenting, since it indicates a path to follow naturally dictated by the emotions of affection and protection towards one's child. However, improvisation is not always the best alternative.
It is very good that both parents ask themselves from the beginning what kind of parents they want to be, that they establish the parenting style to follow and prepare to apply it. Thus, they will know how to act in difficult times and will not have to regret later on an impulsive action that is not aligned with their values.
6. Don't foster a good relationship with food
Nutrition is one of the most problematic aspects for new parents. In an attempt to get the child to eat enough and everything, they can induce a bad relationship with food. For example, by overfeeding him, forcing him to eat when he doesn't want to, or by resorting to blackmail or threats.
This can lead to overweight , family conflicts and, paradoxically, more difficulties with food. Therefore, it is best to allow children to self-regulate (they manage hunger and satiety signals well) and focus on motivation, create captivating dishes, and make mealtimes peaceful, enjoyable and satisfying .
7. Poor sleep management
During the first months or years of a child's life, the rest of the parents suffers and can be reduced in both quantity and quality. This is unavoidable, since children's sleep patterns are different from those of adults and they need to adapt. However, some practices can help improve sleep for the whole family:
- Take turns in pairs so that each night one takes care of the baby and the other can rest.
- Practice dream feeding to prolong the baby's night sleep.
- If the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night, not receiving comfort generates high levels of stress in his brain, very damaging to his present and future emotional development. Avoid doing it.
- Co-sleeping or not is a decision of every family; as well as deciding when to take the baby to his room. However, it's important to make sure this transition doesn't coincide with separation anxiety or the birth of a baby brother.
Not enjoying the experience: the biggest mistake of new parents
While making any of the above mistakes can be troubling, undoubtedly, the biggest mistake novice parents can fall into is not enjoying the experience out of over-worry.
