Why shouldn't we force our children to share?
It is common for parents to want their children to learn to share. But is forcing them really the best option?
Why shouldn't we force our children to share?
It is enough to observe some children in the park or at school to realize that, on many occasions, it is the parents who force them to share. Even when the little ones don't want to. This not only fails to achieve the goal, but also generates insecurity, anger and discomfort in the little ones.
This is why today we want to tell you why we should never force our children to share. Don't miss it!
Forcing to share doesn't make them more educated children
That we as parents play an active role in the education of our children is essential for their development. Although the school plays an important role, some things need to be learned at home long before you get to class.
In this sense, the guidelines for coexistence and good manners must be instilled from the earliest stages of life. But what happens when you have to share your things with others against your will?
We can all remember an episode where our parents forced us to share in childhood and we felt very angry with them. But it is possible that we have repeated this action with our children at least once and we have not noticed it.
The reality is that as parents we feel the social pressure to "educate" our children well and if they refuse to share their things with others, it is because we have done something wrong. As if we had raised a little tyrant, selfish and spoiled.
But let's be calm! There is nothing more false, since the fact that children do not want to share is something absolutely normal.
How to teach them to share?
It is natural for a child that his belongings are very important to him and he does not want to lend them to anyone else. Not even that toy he had ignored five minutes ago.
How can we expect a child to have these levels of generosity if many times even adults are unable to achieve it?
We don't have to teach him to share with words, we have to teach him by example . And also, let's respect his times and accompany him to get rid of his objects when he feels ready to do so.
Finally, we must keep in mind that convincing is not teaching at all. What good is another child enjoying an object if our child cries uncontrollably because he feels he has been taken in the cruellest way?
The little ones don't understand that sharing is temporary
The notion of time is very different for children and adults. If the little ones feel that something very precious has been taken away from them, even for a few minutes, they are distressed as if they will never see it again.
In addition to this, when it is his parents (the people he trusts most) who force or push him to do so, the discomfort increases and the tantrums are not long in coming.
What is theirs is theirs
The egotism of the little ones is at the highest level and the word "mine" is on the agenda. In addition to causing discomfort, handing over your belongings to other children doesn't make them friends.
Just as we don't want them to talk to strangers, let's not force them to lend their toys in the park to other children they don't know. Even less if they don't want to.
Their toys are their treasures
It may be just a toy for us, but for our child it is a great treasure with enormous emotional value. The television in our home, our car or any other important object in our life is just as important to us. Would we leave any of those precious objects at the mercy of others, without scruples? No. Well, neither did our son.
Forcing to share is wrong because generosity cannot be forced
Being a generous person is not something that can be forced, but it is a value that is observed from the environment and learned over time. Also, doing things forcefully and under pressure from others does not mean being generous, but submissive.
If our child doesn't want to share, let's allow him to protest. And if he wasn't born to do it, let's not force him. This will only ensure that he will never want to share anything with anyone, even when he grows up.
It's their decision, not ours
Sometimes parents forget that our children are strangers and different from us. It is clear that we must educate and guide them in life, but certain decisions affect them. In this sense, we have to accept if our child wants to leave something to someone else.
Forcing to share is wrong if our child doesn't feel ready to share
If this is the case with our little one, the best thing we can do is not to force him and be a good example. Our son may not listen to us, but he watches us all day and imitates us in everything. So if we want him to internalize the value of generosity, we must show it to him with our daily actions.
